Trying

I decided to take today off from most of the world, mostly because the thought of doing anything that requires serious thought isn't happening.

I am doing the PhD thing part time for now. As a second year student, I do have a lot on my plate with classes, teaching at HBCU, doing research for my advisor, and home life with Husband and Junior. Needless to say, I am tired. My brain is fried and foggy. The RA is grumbling  a little, but I think part of that is the change in seasons and that rain is on the way. I am trying not to freak out over what is on my "To Do" list. I keep repeating to myself that I can't do a good job on anything right now.  Honestly, I feel like I am running blind. But, I am trying to do this PhD thing differently.

The difference between Seeking Solace the law school student from 22 years ago and Seeking Solace the PhD student of today is that I am not able to work until the wee-hours of the morning, get about four hours of sleep and go to classes and a part-time job. That Seeking Solace was running blind, stressed and grouchy. Seeking Solace the Lawyer and Seeking Solace the Academic did the same thing. The results were not good.

What's that saying about the definition of insanity?

That being said, PhD Seeking Solace learning to accept that there will be times where everything on my list will not get done. There will be a reading that I just don't have time to complete. It may take an extra day or two to finish grading for students at HBCU. My house will not be as tidy as it once was. I am learning to ask for help when I need it. I may need to take a day off from everything because the RA has decided to make things difficult for me or I just need a break to decompress. This is hard for someone like me who is hard-wired to be a over-achiever-workaholic.

But, I'm trying.