When I attended my program orientation last month, all I could think about as information that I didn't know during my time as a non-matriculated student was that this shit just got real.
It's not that I didn't take my non-matriculated status seriously. I did. But, I was so consumed with into the program and proving that I could do the work. Now that I am here, there's all this stuff that probably could have been done earlier, that is, if I had known about it. Stuff like that drives me crazy. I hate not knowing where I am going. I like to plan. I like to make contingencies, because as we all know, shit happens. That's one thing that my years as a lawyer has taught me...always be ready for whatever happens.
But, this is different. My academic plan is supposed to be completed by the time I hit a certain number of credits. Well, I am three credits away of the deadline.
And, the anxiety begins to brew...
My advisor is pretty cool about it. "It will get done", she says.
Of course in my type A brain, all I can think is "When am I supposed to do this when I've got coursework, my job and a whole host of crap going on" I feel as if I am already behind...and I hate being behind. I hate uncertainty.
Tomorrow is supposed to be the day that my advisor and I narrow down a plan on how to get all of this real shit done. I know that once I have a plan and work the plan, I am unstoppable.
I just have to remember to breathe.