Portion Control

I haz new job!

I am working in the Education department at PhD U. It is a temporary position until the start of the fall semester, but there is the possibility of it turning into a graduate assistantship. This means I will be even busier that before, with the new job, teaching one class at HBCU, two doctoral classes, and one independent study and research work with Advisor. Oh yeah, and somewhere in that mess, I have to be a wife and a dog mom. And, most importantly, I have to take care of ME!  That is one full plate.

One of the questions that the dean asked me was whether or not I could handle all of that responsibility. I conceded that this is quite a full plate. And, my plate has not been this full since I left Tech College. But, I have learned a great deal over the past 2.5 years of being in a state of transition. One thing I learned actually came from my weight loss journey (two years of maintenance...WOOT!). I learned that one must eat sensible portions to lose and maintain one's weight. Too much of anything will cause overload (or overweight). Too little of anything means you do not have enough fuel, and you crash and burn. I learned that everything in life is about balance. With that in mind, I have trying to set up my life to be in balance with my new job responsibilities.

• Proper rest, eating well, and exercise are non-negotiable. I need to keep myself well, especially if the RA decides to act up, like it did a couple of weeks ago. I don't anticipate any more big flares now that the weather is getting nicer in Elsewhere. But, RA can act up anytime because it can. Keeping myself well is the best defense, but it's not 100%. My new boss knows my situation and totally gets it. 
• I am working on adjustments to my exercise routine. Running and yoga are a part of my life. They keep me fit and sane. Junior is not happy that Mom is gone more, but making sure he gets his exercise when I get my exercise will help both of us. 
• Husband is awesome. He is picking up some of the slack while I adjust to my new routine. We have some practices in place for stuff around the house, so we are good on that front. He also runs with Junior. FYI, Husband is on his own weight loss journey. His goal is to be under 200 lbs by the end of May. He is getting close!
• I've pre-booked my hair, mani/pedi and other girly-girl stuff. First, so that I am not walking around looking like a hot mess. Second, it's my time to take care of ME. I started this last semester of taking off one full day a month, just for me. It has really helped me because I have something fun to look forward to doing. That comes in handy as the semester gets crazy. 
• Thankfully, my job is in the same building as my classes and professors, so I can pop in to see them if I need anything. During the interview process, I front loaded some due dates for my classes. I wanted some breathing room for training. The last two weeks were crazy with papers and presentations. But, those assignments are done and I can coast the rest of the semester...and it's not even midterm yet! 
• My research project with my Advisor is about to go from 0-100 mph. The amended IRB was granted, so Advisor and I will need to get moving because we have about a month before we need to present our preliminary findings. I am excited and nervous about that! 
• Finally, I made some significant changes to my course at HBCU. It's online this semester, which is a good thing. I have lowered the number of deliverables to something more manageable. There is nothing I can do about the ridiculous class size, but I can do something about how much work I have to make for myself.  

Yeah...my plate is full. But this time, I am managing my portions.

Disconnect

I am three weeks into the semester at PhD U and two weeks in at HBCU. Usually at this stage, I am have a routine and a rhythm  going with my studies, teaching, and everything else that I have to do in my crazy life. However this semester, I feel disconnected. I am struggling to find a routine. I am floundering through all of my responsibilities with little sense of direction.

I think some of it has to do with having a minor RA flare last week. It was not enough to keep me home unable to function. But, it was enough to slow me down enough that I am having trouble refocusing my efforts. Part of the problem with RA is that the flares just zap so much of your energy, including brain function. I like to think of it as walking around in a haze or fog. I suppose it's just part of the body attacking itself, but it sure doesn't help when you need to think about a lot of deep shit. The flare has kept me from exercising, which really helps keep my endorphins bouncing. But, with the pain, I just didn't want to make things worse. So, I did nothing until this past Sunday when I walked briskly on the treadmill for 2 miles.

Also, there is just something different about this semester. I am not sure what it is. I can't put my finger on it. This semester just feels different.  I have a large online class at HBCU, no surprise there. But, I have more than my fair share of students who need my attention. Some in a very legitimate way, such as disability issues, which I am more than happy to accommodate. Having a disability makes me a very sensitive to another person's disability accommodation. I have a lot of students who do not have the money for the textbook, which frustrates me on several fronts and I will save for another post.  But, it's just there are so many that it is making my head spin.

At PhD U, I have two classes and an independent study. One class has a lot of reading. The other has a lot of writing. The independent study is based on my research work with my advisor. We can't do anything until the amended IRB is approved to include me, so I have a little bit of a reprieve, But once it is approved, things are going to happen quickly. We have a conference in March and need to get our data collected and analyzed. But, it's still a lot, and my brain is just trying to catch up. It's just so much stuff to think about.

This morning. I seriously considered taking the day off. Not going to class at PhD U and just taking the day to regroup. But, I have a group project meeting that needs to happen today, so that's out. I am thinking that I spend some time this morning trying to map out a plan before I have to go to campus. Then tomorrow I will take the morning off and regroup a little more.

I know I will get it together. I just need a plan. Being disconnected is just no way to go through life.

On your mark, get set, GO!

The spring semester is in full swing at PhD U and HBCU.

My workload for the PhD is going to be intense. Two courses, an independent study with my advisor (I need to come up with a name for her), and preparing for two conferences with my advisor. Course #1 does not have a lot of deliverables, but a ton of reading. Course #2 has a ton of deliverables and a lot of reading. Advisor and I will be meeting next week to devise a plan for my independent study, which is based on the prep work for our conferences and subsequent paper. At minimum, I want to come up with a way to combine the work in the two courses. One is a topic concentration course and the other is Qualitative Methods II. I think I can make that happen. The independent study is in the wheelhouse of the Topic Concentration course, and my advisor and I will be completing a qualitative study. But, I feel that this may be pushing the envelope too far.

As for HBCU, I am back to teaching the course online for this semester. That is actually a good thing. It save me time, as I do not have to go anywhere. However, I did revamp the course, with fewer deliverables. I have 32 students in the class. That is just too many for any course. I don't want to spend the bulk of my time in grading jail.

I made a promise to myself last week that I wasn't going to make more work for myself, hence the attempt to kill as many birds as possible with the same stone. However, I find myself thinking about cool stuff I could research for my courses or a interesting topic or assessment for my students. I caught myself this morning thinking about an assignment that would be relevant and authentic for my students, but such activity would result in a good amount of prep work and grading. And the students would enjoy...

Stop! Just stop!

I will jot down that idea and set it aside for another semester. I cannot make any more work for myself this semester. I do not want to be burned out or worse, have a flare. I am working out my plan for the semester. Deadlines and commitments..what to leave in, what to leave out.

Time to start running against the wind.