Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Tracing Time

(Turn and face the strange)
Pretty soon now you're gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time.

Changes by David Bowie 

Yesterday was my 48th birthday. I am trying to figure out where all that time went. I mean, how did I get to be 48 years old? 

I am trying wrap my mind around the fact that I am knocking on the door of 50. I was ready for my forties. I had no fears about it. For me, my forties was all about embracing the woman that I have become, particularly in the latter part of my forties. I have reconciled some of my insecutites and continue to battle some that will just not die. But 50 is kind of scaring me a little. Husband will be 50 this October. He is dreading it. 

People say that I don't "look" like a 48 year old woman. Yesterday, I had fun playing "Guess my age" with strangers. No one came close. The guesses ranged between 30 and 35. In fact, I got a discount on my coffee because the guy guessed 30. I don't know what 48 is supposed to feel like either. Everyone within my age group talks about having more aches and pains. I experienced aches and pains since I was 32, but that was because of the RA. Otherwise, I have not noticed any new aches and pains. To be honest, I don't know if they would be any different than RA pain. Oh, I have noticed some changes with my lady parts, but I won't go there. 

In all honestly, even with the RA, I am in the best physical and mental shape of my life. Losing the weight and getting exercise has helped. I take good care of my body, especially my skin. Working on the PhD is keeping me mentally sharp, but even if I was still practicing law, I would find a way to keep my brain sharp and smart. Although, I did have a bit of a memory lapse when Husband was talking about the time we saw Bad Company back in the late 1990's. I honestly have no recollection of it. I texted one of my girlfriends who went to the show with us. She remembers it. No, I wasn't drunk or high. I honestly do not remember it! 

Maybe Bowie was right.  

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